


Santa's Extra Special Helper

by CuriousThinker



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:58:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5447381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousThinker/pseuds/CuriousThinker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is jemily sex in an elf costume. That's literally it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa's Extra Special Helper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [velutluna_ithil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/velutluna_ithil/gifts).



“No, nope, absolutely fucking not. No way in hell,” said Emily, shaking her head at the torn wrapping paper.  
“Come on, Emily. Please?” JJ pouted. “Where’s your Christmas spirit?”  
“JJ, we’ve already brought festivity into every other area of our lives. Isn’t this a corner best left untouched?”  
“Just try it on once, that’s all. I promise you won’t regret it.”   
“I would bet you actual money to the contrary,” said Emily. But she always had a hard time resisting JJ once she’d activated persuasive mode. Letting out a resigned sigh, Emily shoved the debris aside and picked up the plastic package. She was trying not to stare too long as the picture on its front.   
Meanwhile, JJ was a true kid on Christmas morning, near vibrating with excitement. “Wait – really,” she said, as if she hadn’t expected the convincing to be that easy.   
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your stockings in a bunch.” Emily ambled to her feet from the living room floor, package in hand. When she began walking toward the bedroom, JJ cocked her head in puzzlement. “I’m not gonna change in front of you, pervert,” said Emily, sticking out her tongue by way of explanation. “So just, oh god, prepare yourself for horrifying sights you will never be able to unsee.”  
A few expectant minutes later, JJ heard Emily’s voice from behind the closed door.  
“I feel ridiculous.”  
“I promise I won’t laugh,” said JJ, “And I’m positive you look gorgeous as usual.”  
Emily's laughter, slightly hysterical, carried through the wood. “Yeah – you would say that.”  
“I’ll say it forever. Come out and show me, so I can prove it.”  
The door cracked open, and then opened slowly, creaking on its hinges. Emily hid behind it for as long as possible. When she finally shuffled out, it was with her eyes to the floor and her cheeks burning.  
“For the record, this is your Christmas present – not mine.”   
The bodice of the costume was strapless, red velvet with white silk crisscrossing up the front. Little silver bells dangled from each end of the corset-like lacing. Three centimeters of black faux-leather belt connected the bodice to a green skirt of the same velvety material. White fur lining its hem, the skirt – which was barely half a meter of fabric – flared out a-line from the waist.  
“Somehow I don’t think this was meant for the big boobed” said Emily. Whenever she tried to tug up the bodice, she got dangerously close to flashing everything under the skirt. But whenever she tried to pull the skirt down further than mid-thigh, she entered nip-slip central. This was clearly a no-win outfit.  
“Okay, you’ve seen it. I’m changing.”  
“Don’t you dare,” JJ said. Her blue eyes were intent on Emily's body. They roved over every bit of tan skin, flashing now and again to the swishing skirt. She wasted no time in closing the space between them. Her hands rushed to stroke along the velvet at Emily's waist.  
“Are you –” Emily cut herself off with a laugh, “Holy shit, you’re actually into this, aren’t you?” JJ leaned closer, pressing a kiss to Emily's bare shoulder.  
“You’re really beautiful,” she said, hot breath on exposed skin making Emily shiver.  
“According to the packaging, I’m ‘Santa’s extra special helper.’”  
JJ flushed pink around the ears, to Emily's satisfaction. Not to be deterred, however, her hands tread lower. “Think about it, though,” she murmured, tugging lighting at the fuzzy hem of the skirt. “This makes it so easy to just…”  
Emily couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling of JJ’s fingertips, dipping under the skirt.   
“Your hands are fucking freezing,” she said. They were brushing the sides of her thighs, traveling inward.  
“You’d never even have to take anything off,” JJ continued, “I could take you just like this.”  
Eyes half-closed, Emily slung her arms around JJ's neck. She unconsciously spread her legs a little further apart. Despite knowing she was covered, she felt oddly exposed, what with the extra air contact and the smooth, flowing fabric against her legs.  
“Yeah? Is that right?” said Emily. JJ’s fingers were barely brushing her warmth, wet through her panties. Just as JJ was ducking down for a kiss, the hand relocated to her hip.  
“But first you should put on the hat.”  
“The hat?” Emily spoke with absolutely no inflection. “Are you fucking kidding me?”  
“Pretty please, Emily. Please. Come on – you can’t be a proper elf without a hat. Don’t you wanna get our money’s worth out of the costume, at least?”   
“What does that make me – your cheap elf prostitute?”  
“’Course not,” said JJ, “You’re definitely a high-end elf prostitute. You only service elf kings…and breathtakingly beautiful humans.” When Emily glared at her, JJ planted a kiss on her cheek like a shot. “Please.”    
“You’re so fucking lucky I haven’t gotten ready yet,” said Emily. As she stomped back to the bedroom, she called out, “I hate you a lot – just by the way.”  
Five or so minutes later, Emily made her reappearance. In addition to the green stocking cap, she’d pulled on candy-cane socks – another of the costume’s accessories – up past her knees. They warmed things up a little, if nothing else. JJ, sitting on the sofa, was grinning at the sight of her. Emily jingled as she walked over.  
“Okay – two things,” she said, coming to a stop in front of the sofa. Towering over JJ, she guessed another centimeter or two’s height difference would mean JJ getting a pretty decent peek up her skirt. “First, was the bell entirely necessary?” She gave the end of her hat a musical shake. “Second,” she reached behind her back and plucked something from the costume’s belt, “Did you seriously buy peppermint-flavored lube?”  
“It was on sale,” said JJ weakly.  
Emily tossed the small bottle up in the air. “Uh huh.”   
“It was! And I thought it would taste nice!”  
Emily threw the bottle up again, almost missing the second catch. She popped open the lid, gave it a sniff. “Smells nice, I’ll give you that.” She turned the bottle over and meticulously dribbled a little out onto her pointer finger. Maintaining careful eye contact, she dragged the finger over her lips and sucked it into her mouth. She let her eyes close as if relishing the taste. As she slowly drew it back out, her tongue circled the tip. “Not bad,” she said, taking note of JJ's slack-jawed state, “Always wanted to suck a clit that tasted of candy canes.”  
“Feel free to live out your dreams,” JJ laughed.  
 “Tempting,” said Emily, after a calculating look. “But right now, I think I’d rather just fuck you.” She upended the bottle of lube, pouring a liberal amount out into her palm and spreading it over her fingers. “I’m gonna want you naked by the time I’m ready.“   
With her slicked-up hand, Emily reached up the skirt that was no boundary. Her breath caught as she circled the tip of a finger around her entrance.  
“Emily,” said JJ, looking a little light-headed. “Are you wearing anything under there?”  
Pushing in up to her first knuckle, Emily said, “No – don’t think I am.”  
“Jesus Christ.”  
“A very happy birthday to him.”  
JJ huffed out a shocked laugh. “Emily.”  
Emily had one finger inside, pulling steadily in and out. “Yes, I know, I’m going to hell,” she said, “With all the fun people. Didn’t I tell you to strip?” She took her stance a little wider as she added a second finger, but still nothing could be seen. Emily curled both fingers, letting out a moan. “Better hurry up.”  
JJ, sat watching with her hand pressed to the tight front of her jeans, pulled her shirt over her head at once. “Shit, it’s cold.”  
“You are not allowed to complain,” Emily said, diligently working her fingers, “to the woman in the elf costume.”  
JJ undid her jeans’ button. “The woman in the elf costume is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” she said, undoing the zip and shoving the fabric down her thighs.  
Abruptly, Emily stopped her movements, staring critically down at JJ's newly exposed crotch.  
"What?”  
“You are not wearing fucking Santa panties.”  
“I thought the suit might be too much,” said JJ and at Emily ’s look of abject horror, she added, “Kidding, I’m kidding!”  
JJ kicked the jeans the rest of the way off as Emily inserted a third finger.   
“God, please tell me you’ve run out of Christmas surprises,” Emily sighed as she flexed inside herself, fingers finding her G-Spot with little difficulty. “Because I don’t think I could handle,” she inhaled sharply, “finding Frosty the Snowman tattooed on your ass.”   
“No Frosty. Only Rudolph.” The Santa-hat dotted panties were crumbled on the floor. JJ rubbed at her wetness with slow strokes.   
“Couple of ground rules first,” said Emily. The stress around her fingers had pretty well alleviated. She licked her lips at the sight of JJ.  
JJ all flushed and pretty. “One, I disagree with the word ‘naughty’ on literally every level.” Finally drawing out her hand, she scooped the bottle of lube up from the floor. She took a step closer to the sofa, so that JJ's knees touched her legs. With the peppermint scent permeating the air, she braced one hand on the wall behind JJ’s head. Her other, slicker hand found its way to JJ's area.   
“Two,” said Emily, swinging one stocking-clad leg over JJ’s thighs, “If I hear one sassy remark about sitting on Santa’s lap, the whole thing’s called off.”   
At the end of her patience, JJ practically growled as her hands propelled beneath the skirt. She grasped at Emily’s ass and jerked her forward, so that she was fully straddling her lap. Their cunts were nestled together and fully covered by the skirt. It took a bit of blind maneuvering, but soon Emily was hovering with JJ pressing tightly against her entrance. None too slowly, just barely in control, she eased herself down.  
“Hey Emily,” JJ said, a moment of heavy breathing later, “I’ll jingle your bell.”   
“Shut up,” said Emily, and JJ gasped because she could feel her laughter. Her hands tightened reflexively on Emily’s bum. Emily raised herself up slowly on her knees, All at once, she slid down again. JJ moaned heavy in her throat, dropping her head back against the sofa. “Good, you’re shutting up.”   
It was a bit of work, with each collision of their hips the equivalent of a squat. But Emily transferred some of the pressure to JJ’s shoulders and JJ met her with short thrusts and they were doing just fine. JJ caressed the muscles of Emily’s thighs as they flexed. She bunched up fistfuls of fabric and pulled Emily down to kiss her, trying to capture traces of peppermint. The bell on Emily’s hat chimed with every sudden movement, so the jingling was near constant.  
“Fuck it,” said Emily, after a particularly vibrant jingle, “The hat’s coming off.”  
“But it’s like a soundtrack of Christmassy goodness!”  
“JJ, I’m fairly certain this is the most festive sex anybody’s ever had.” When Emily grinded hard, JJ dropped her hand to the back of Emily’s neck. Their lips met once more and the bell ceased seeming all that important. JJ’s stomach muscles were clenching with effort of sitting up only partway, but she had her arms around emily, fingers digging at the bare skin of her upper back. She wasn’t cold anymore, not by a long shot, and Emily was hiking up the skirt, letting them both see where their bodies connected.  
Before long, Emily’s thighs were trembling as she rode rapid-fire on JJ’s clit. JJ grasped at her hips, using all her arm strength to help with the lifting and lowering.  
“You’re so fucking beautiful, you have no idea how much.”  
“Fuck – god, JJ.” Emily’s breath was coming out in harsh gasps. “I’m close.”  
“I’ve been getting closer… every second since you put this on.”  
Emily bit at her already-reddened lips. Her hand was on her cunt and already blurring. Damp locks of hair were slipping out from under her hat and the skirt was useless, up above her waist and pouring out from between JJ’s fingers. Emily went down on JJ with all the strength of the desperate. Each of JJ’s fingers inside her added a brick to the wall building up tall in her stomach, and all of a sudden it was tumbling down and she was striping JJ’s chest with hot and wet. Emily’s muscles had stopped cooperating, and JJ was about to rip the skirt. But a few short grinds had her moaning into Emily’s neck as she came. Emily felt the warmth pulse inside her, residual sensation making her whimper. JJ hugged her fully around the waist with shaking arms.  
 “Having a happy Christmas, then?” said Emily, after a moment’s recovery. JJ tried to put just about all of the feelings into a kiss.  
 “Only the best Christmas ever.”


End file.
